Sunday, September 19, 2004
the truth
as hard as i roll, denying all the way, its time to come clean with you all.
i hate to admit this but..
my system is going to need to be rebuilt again. fuck.
(heh.)
gossip loving motherfuckers.
Posted by ruzz on September 19, 2004 at 07:42 PM in this goat sucking thing we call life | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBack
Tuesday, August 31, 2004
cricket song
i'm here now. alone. 3:20 am like a matchbox20 song.
and the crickets are chirp chirp chirping their little cricket asses off.
and i think, it's a song.
its a song to say
next year
never like this second
again.
Posted by ruzz on August 31, 2004 at 03:21 AM in this goat sucking thing we call life | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Friday, August 27, 2004
for all eternity, or at least this week
i just wrote a big stinky post about why alanis morissette is a big dunsky.
it was clever and fun.
but the ennernet ate it.
because this week, the gods who rule computers
are giving me that anal sphincter enlargement
they always promised.
so you lose. i lose. we all scream for ice cream.
Posted by ruzz on August 27, 2004 at 03:18 PM in this goat sucking thing we call life | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack
uhm, like
fuck.
Posted by ruzz on August 27, 2004 at 04:41 AM in this goat sucking thing we call life | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Tuesday, August 24, 2004
...
meh
Posted by ruzz on August 24, 2004 at 11:41 PM in this goat sucking thing we call life | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Monday, August 16, 2004
...
jesusfuckingchrist.
Posted by ruzz on August 16, 2004 at 05:00 AM in this goat sucking thing we call life | Permalink | Comments (7) | TrackBack
Wednesday, August 11, 2004
pissy
i'm uncontrollably pissy tonight.
i hoped to thwart it by getting out of the house for a couple hours for some much needed sanity time, but all that really did was sharpen the sword some.
I ran into bronwynn and she was so wasted she could barely stand and had some lecherous looking fifty year old groping her.
i wanted to puke.
i also saw all manner of human depravity in my travels and jesus someone needs to start taking out the wastes of flesh. be merciful and end their fuckin suffering.
no one likes to watch another person just rip themselves to peices again and
again.
almost no one
not me.
fuck. never me.
and i'm a bit cheesed about people pissing on people i care about.
about being able to do fuck all about it.
but thats all im saying about that because
it aint about me
and my anger.
i just feel so frustrated.
there never seems to be enough good to go around
someone always gets the shit end
and i get so tired of it being the wrong
people with shitty hands.
i'm not surprised to find there is little justice
in this world
but sometimes i can't reduce it
to background noise.
and those times
man
those times
its like bamboo in the nailbeds
its like sitting through the bachelor
it's bad is what i'm saying folks.
and bad aint good
no matter how you couch it.
Posted by ruzz on August 11, 2004 at 01:17 AM in this goat sucking thing we call life | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Wednesday, August 04, 2004
truths your mama wasn't smart enough to tell you
#1: if you ask your brain a question it doesn't know how to answer and leave it, most times your brain (problem solving machine that it is) will work something up.
#2: if you tell the world it can't suck the goat any harder without tearing flesh, most times the world will teach you about the power of suckage on a massive planetary scale.
these two principals, in tandem, are responsible for the whole of man's progress. Not love, nor compassion, nor understanding, nor anything else deepak chopra tells you.
first you get the suckage, then you ask the questions about how to get rid of the suckage, then you get more suckage, more questions and on and on.
somehow it's progress.
jesus understood this.
who the fuck are you to question jesus?
Posted by ruzz on August 4, 2004 at 10:31 PM in this goat sucking thing we call life | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Tuesday, August 03, 2004
empty
you know what will empty your gut faster than a taco bell special? working yourself to the bone on a deal you made cuz you were pressed for cash and knowing, no matter how great it is the customer isn't going to like it. because this customer doesn't seem to like anything.
and, the repeated ball of stress plugging up my shoulders when i think, if i was being paid the right amount, i could do this like this, that like that, and feel satisfied.
it's like giving tiny peices of your will away.
a bit everyday.
most of the time i just filter this shit right out. I have to because i never seem to get caught up enough to avoid taking quickie jobs that end up being more than i thought.
funny how the paycheque always stays the same.
my mom says me and my father aren't built for business because we are too nice to people.
sometimes shes right. I can think of a few times in recent months where my niceness to customers has been returned, and man was it nice. But on the whole.. my experience is people will take you for whatever they can.
in any case. one way or another im done this stupid flash nightmare tonight.
Posted by ruzz on August 3, 2004 at 08:00 PM in this goat sucking thing we call life | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Sunday, August 01, 2004
I realize you don't care
But, in many unexpected ways this post of adens impacted my recent post regarding my anger on the lazy assed overblown state of the blogging world (Don't Hate The Player, July 31 2004) and because i'm just crazy with the a hrefs i thought would throw some flow to aden for being such a shit in general and fueling my fire. Her greatest flaw is she believes all the shit you folks tell her.
A quote for you
In that grand past people told stories about their lives. I am not talking about an account of what they had for dinner, and watched on tv. I am talking about feelings, about going to a family members funeral, about falling in love, falling out of love. Going through addictions, obsessions, world events. At that time it was about telling stories, it was about using the creative process to chronicle your life.
Posted by ruzz on August 1, 2004 at 07:27 PM in crimes against brilliant minds, posts that may have influenced my posts, like incest., shit you should read, this goat sucking thing we call life | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack