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Saturday, October 16, 2004

not a good idea

maybe watching the quasi-raged filled walking tall --which is comedy when paid close attention to, and just raw violence when viewed out of the corner of your eye-- and reading the darkest part of tietam brown when feeling a bit lonely isn't a good idea.

i'm feeling a bit depressed. 1,631 reasons to feel like things aren't quite what they could be.

realizing, movies about rage, books about rage, and how it can be inexorably linked to the power of the human spirit to fight back when put upon, makes me realize something in our very judeo-christian world has changed. for the worse.

used to be a time, being part of being a man meant not allowing yourself to be trod upon. having dignity even if the cost was pain, suffering or regret. now, in an "must always be right" slanted world, we have to be all mamby-pamby and talk everything out. because that's the right thing to do, even when it isn't. That's the right thing to say you did, even when it isn't.

so in an effort to be right, and good, two useless values, we have sold an essential --as old as humankind-- strength down the proverbial river. we have unconsciously absconded from the post of watcher of our own safety and unable to test our own limits, we presume them to come much closer to failing than might really be true.

unincumbered by societies leash, they tell us the world would quickly evaporate into chaos. but, i can't think of anything more chaotic than six billion humans trying to be right all the time, at any cost, and suffering a modern case of "the waning self esteem" which is only an extension of "the waning knowledge of your self" anyway.

could you explain to me how one can know that they can count on themselves in a crunch they plasticize every incident that might lead them to find that out? it's simply impossible.

seems our nature is to fill in a blank with a much darker, shorter, and failed answer. Can i protect myself, stand up for myself, know when my dignity is on the line i will be able to overcome my fear and do what i need to do? I don't know because i've head off the small things where i could've learnt about myself, so i would have to say, if i can't handle those i surely must'nt be able to handle the really big ones. or so, i think the thinking might go.

life, is meant to be lived, explored and above all experienced. nothing in being right lends itself to these things. being right is the quintessential anti-life motion. being wrong, on the other hand, allows one to learn, grow, change and all of those things support life.

no one can deal with their big problems anymore, because we've mastered running from our small ones. what a shame to have this fierce blood in our veins only to let it run cold in the hum-drum of societal complicity.

a shame indeed.

Posted by ruzz on October 16, 2004 at 04:04 AM in one bad idea begets another | Permalink


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