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Wednesday, August 25, 2004

the bluest plate

i am preparing my food. all ruzz' need regular foodstuffs. it's known the world around. and i took down my favorite blue plate. Nestled it safely in my chubby little arms and said "hello my blue plate" when..

i was over come with guilt about how i took control of the blue plate.

see, the story of the blue plate is the story never told. even i, sometimes forget it's origins. or, really, i used to forget. but, then i saw memento and i learned the secret art of bic prison tatts. so the story was preserved on my upper right thigh.

thank the gods for memento.
yes god, two thanks in one day. write it the fuck down.

the story, as it is written on my right thigh, is that one day the judekyles made too many mashed potatoes. Yes kids, too many. not even the kiki could consume the spoils that day. and so the council was convened to decide to whom the remains of their great battle over the po-tat-oe (a great and evil dictator) and it was decided that a feral ruzz kept in the basement would most benefit.

and so it was the blue plate...

fuck. i ran out of ink that day.


the point is, i saw the blue plate and felt pangs of shame and guilt. does the blue plate's blue plate family miss it? is it happy? are my cupboards big enough for it to plate freely?

these are questions that keep a man up at night people.

i'm sorry jude and kiki. i just loved the blue plate. and if that's a crime --the loving of the plate, not the actual stealing, we all know the stealing is a crime, but the loving-- then man i'm guilty.

oooo. there's my retard quotient for the day!

Posted by ruzz on August 25, 2004 at 10:19 PM in in honor of my judeo-christian roots | Permalink


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and of course you kept the blue plate because it reminds you of brads yummy mashed potatoes everytime you look at it right ;)

Posted by: teg | Aug 25, 2004 11:01:30 PM

its teg!

Posted by: ruzz | Aug 25, 2004 11:22:14 PM

i'm just all happy that you guys love my tatoes

Posted by: jude | Aug 25, 2004 11:41:14 PM

Whether or not it's a crime depends on how you're actually "loving" the blue plate.

Posted by: absolut doc | Aug 25, 2004 11:51:40 PM