Main | right. »

Thursday, July 29, 2004

in three months this blog will deconstruct

well, three months or sooner, really.

I have a promo account for 121 days. So i have 121 days to break up the trotts and get mena bent over like sister cybil in the fourth grade. She be smilin saying.. oh ruzz.. here is a full year code. Harder.

because she likes it hard. you know she does.
they all do, but don't wait around for them to tell you that.

There is nothing special here. nothing special will be here.
i'm the war torn old battle commander come back for one last mission.
together we can conquer the boring hordes.

then i want to farm. like maximus. or
maybe be a longfuckinshoreman.

a stevedore?

I smothered a bird today. I didn't have the heart to crush it's tiny head.
i've done a lot of fucked up shit in my life, and some of it would make you wonder, but i'm standing there with this tiny half eaten bird in my hand --i wasn't as hungry as i thought, i guess-- and i'm feeling it's breathing slowing. it's losing its very fucking life man. it's actually dying in my hand.

you know how much time humans spend thinking about their own death?

and every time it takes a breath it's legs twitch.
twitch. breath. am i cutting off all the air? twitch.


I just wanted it to go. just go man. be well in death little bird. you weren't fast enough in this life and when you're slow you get worked. that's just the world little bird. just this big ol' world. or
nature. maybe.

anyways, i was standing there refusing this fragile wonder of nature it's air when all manner of judeo-christian guilt hopped my fence and really made a shit of things. No one expected that. not even the pope.

but i walked it off. because the bird, man, the bird was hurtin and it's just plain cruel to let it suffer. i can't quite get my noggin around the idea that sticking its head in a bucket of ice cold water is any better, but that's not for me to decide, i let the moral majority write the ticket on how to handle fallen winged beasts.

When i gave them that concession i never thought for a second it would play. and here i am with cheney going 'rah ruzz, rah, kill that dirty terrorist bird' and it's seven fuckin am in the morning. I have no socks or shirt on and twitch. breath. guilt.

that shit is just messed.
all the way.

oh, and welcome to my reunion tour. all seven of my dominant personalities agreed to get back together for one more run for our fans.

Posted by ruzz on July 29, 2004 at 02:11 PM in about my penis | Permalink


TrackBack URL for this entry:

Listed below are links to weblogs that reference in three months this blog will deconstruct:


woo hoo! about the seven dominant personalities being back.

bummer 'bout the bird. it's good to read about your humanity big guy.

Posted by: veronicalynne | Jul 29, 2004 2:58:08 PM

I've sold most of my humanity, but what i have left, you're welcome to :)

Posted by: ruzz | Jul 29, 2004 3:15:50 PM

i agree ruzz...humanity is overrated.

Posted by: jude | Jul 29, 2004 3:58:10 PM

Isn't 121 days four months?

Posted by: stonering | Jul 29, 2004 4:28:02 PM

I think when it comes to a slow painful death vs a quick death, quick wins out. You did a good thing. I don't know if I could have done it, but it was definately the right thing to do.

Posted by: stonering | Jul 29, 2004 4:33:11 PM

i guess 121 days is 4 months. odd. i dunno. i just follow orders. :)

Posted by: ruzz | Jul 29, 2004 4:36:01 PM

reluctantly (of course) i agree with jude...humanity is not only overrated, it has been reduced to a heaping pile of warm shite.

GI Joe would be proud of you.

on that note, welcome back! (times seven)

Posted by: Reluctant One | Jul 29, 2004 4:55:09 PM

I don't believe in death, only change. I think our culture makes the death of our bodies scary and weird, where it is inevitable and commonplace.

I think it is absolutly fitting that death triggers deep emotion. It is equaled only by birth as a life changing event. And it creates an enormaous and mysterious rift between the living and those who have passed on.

Pontification over.

Glad to hear from you ruzz, sorry the bird thing hurt. I'd like to think if I were the bird I'd be grateful.

Posted by: Stephen | Jul 30, 2004 9:04:46 AM

is it too late to sign up to be a roadie on the reunion tour?

Posted by: aden | Jul 30, 2004 2:07:33 PM